So, I got some kickback from Gary on my 1st "integral relationship" post. 

We seem to be talking past each other a bit, so I took some time, thought about things a bit more, and would like to adjust my view, just a bit. (I responded over there, and this builds on that).

An integral relationship, per se, would need to be some superior form or relationship, above and beyond a "successful" relationship.

So I should start by investigating - what makes a successful relationship?

I browsed around, looking for successful relationship information - couples that talk about their own relationships, seem to have different ideas. 

How about it - we know that for good health, the basics are - eat right, exercise right.  What are the basics for good relationship?  What do the "experts" say?

And then, a question - I tend to naturally define a successful relationship as long-lasting.  If "successful", means love, ease, good communication, good physical relationship, etc - would people LEAVE a good relationship?  Say something like "we got along GREAT, we communicate well, we laugh, we accept most everything about each other - but we both came to understand that it was time to move on".

I believe the facts are with me on this, but, most relationships don't end on that note.  

So there is a time element involved, in regards to "successful" relationship. 

This seems to me that, to even begin to speak about an integral relationship - above and beyond a successful relationship (and I haven't even begun to define that yet!), that to speak from grounded experience ABOUT integral relationship (combining a "successful relationship that has stood the test of time" with "the world of integral"), you need to have some years of successful relationship under your belt, in the majority of cases.

5 years? 10 years?

Until you have that, let's - again - work on "successful" relationship, as a 1st step .

although, as always, theory points the way - so we can theorize to our hearts content. You just can't speak authoritatively, and remember that one is speaking in the realm of theory or "maybe an integral relationship is this..."